Diary of a Zombie

March 3rd

I found a typewriter in the house of an elderly couple today. After eating them I wondered through the house looking at the pictures. I have only been a zombie for a little more than a week and I must say, it takes some getting used to. Did you know that zombies don’t sleep? I think that’s why we are always so cranky. I can feel my mind and body slowly slipping away. I fear that they will degrade until they come to rest at the lowest level possible for existence. I think I will try to make some zombie friends.

March 14th

A zombie that I named Frank fell into an open manhole today. I tried to help him out. Found a rope and lowered it to him. He grabbed it and I pulled. Got his arms out safely. He is still there. Zombies don’t die so he will be there for a very long time. That sucks.

March 19

Wandered into old neighborhood. Ate Bob and Sandy. Saw my wife. Tried so hard to tell her love her. She run fast. Maybe cause it came out “ARGARGARGGRAGRGARGARGRA!!!!” Being zombie is lonely. Miss wife. And Frank.

March 27

BE zombie no fun. Ate Chinese man. hungry hour later. Cold much. Zombie has bad circulation.

Aprl 6

ARGAFSTATJKSSLKJLKMS”

Copyright © 2011 Adam Drake

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18 comments

  1. I love this! It’s hilarious! I don’t usually consort with zombies or books about zombies, but this was good. The line “Got his arms out safely. He is still there.” cracked me up. And a zombie named Frank? Better than death named Bob.

  2. I like that the zombie apparently accepted his fate so we could follow along with his deterioration. Much more interesting than the more predictable storyline of a zombie freaking out about becoming a zombie. I enjoyed this.

  3. Ok, I`ll be straight with this one – cliche. The entire “story” (there isn`t any in my opinion) is basically several jokes about zombies put together in the form of a diary… And the ending – well, call me stupid, but I had to read it from the beginning again to understand what happened. I`m guessing his fingers fell apart while typing, right?

    I love that you try different settings, ideas and forms of writing. But come on! There are enough diary parodies around. You could`ve done something completely different.This “story” reads just like the LOTR diary parodies.

    BUT sometimes you have to write stories like these, in order to shake off everything else away. When we write stories, draw paintings, when we create something with our own imagination, we sometimes need a brake of it all. We need to loosen up and free our minds. The solution is to do something that just pops up, without thinking is it good, bad or has a deep meaning. I think that this was your way of doing this. An idea: Make it something that is regular in your writing schedule. Once in while free yourself from it all and write something plain fun, cliche, stupid even. You won`t regret it. And you can make it a regular series in your blog 🙂

    1. Ha ha! I am glad you are always honest in your responses. It feels like you hold me to a high standard as a writer and I like that too. (Although I’m not sure I am worthy of that just yet) I know that what I write will not be for everyone every time, but sometimes you just gotta write the weird ones out anyway. And I couldn’t think of anything else to write…

      1. Great writers aren`t great because they`ve written the masterpiece of their life. It`s because they`ve written even a sentence that appealled to many people. So “just yet” won`t come. It is. You have written something that touched a lot of people. I couldn`t count them, but it seems that way, considering those I know personally 🙂 So, yes. You`re in a higher league now – brace yourself 😀

  4. It is very cliche, but it made me laugh a little. It’s nice as a low impact little project to draw up without worrying much about it. Hard to critique something like that (although I’m not sure you meant to mistype “wandering” in that first paragraph).

    What I do enjoy is your openness to criticism. I once commented on a writer’s blog where he posted a little piece of flash fiction. It was nice, I enjoyed reading it, but since I like to offer something more useful than “It was good.” to writers I talk to, I tossed out a few points that I thought he could have done better on. His response was to delete my comment.

    To each his own; I didn’t really have a problem with it, but it’s sad to see writers who are either so high on themselves or so self-conscious as far as to censor honest constructive criticism (and ignore it, as he did). The greatest authors of all time send their stuff into editors to have it ripped apart. It’s something we all need to season ourselves for so that we can put aside personal hurt feelings and focus on creating the best pieces we can manage.

    Keep it up. (Also, I think this is more micro-fiction than flash fiction; just saying.)

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