“I found my kryptonite man.”
Josh looked up to see Adam flop into the chair across the table.
“That would explain a lot. Like why you own tights.”
Adam winced at the well-used jab.
“I told you, those are thermal running pants for the winter!”
The loud response drew a few looks from nearby tables.
“Riiiiiight. Anyway, what is your kryptonite?”
“Okay, you know how cool I am right?”
Josh stifled a laugh. Adam was his best friend. He had a unique kind of cool, but he was also quiet enough that most people never got to see it. Josh nodded so Adam would continue.
“Last Friday I was at this conference. I’m running around doing my thing, when I see this girl. She’s beautiful. She is helping run the conference and we cross paths a couple times. So I start to make a little small talk.”
Josh grinned and shook his head. Adam had a kind of quiet confidence that some girls really seemed to like. Josh had seen a lot of women that should be out of his league succumb to his charms. The only problem was that Adam was terrified of getting his heart broken so he would never ask them out. Josh had heard this story before and decided to finish it himself.
“So you wow’d her with her wit and when she got interested you bailed right?”
Adam looked truly desponded. He shook his head “no” and dropped his eyes to the table.
“No. That’s just it. I turned into a complete nerd. I… I insulted her!”
Josh barely held back his laugh this time.
“You did what!?”
“I insulted her. I felt like such an idiot. I tried to talk my way out of it and I ended up insulting her again! Bro…”
Josh felt a little guilty, but he was really enjoying this.
“Hey, some girls like that sort of thing.”
Adam looked up exasperated.
“Dude. This girl is awesome. She’s not only beautiful, but she’s smart and fun and… She just seems like she is a really good person down to the core.”
With as much subtlety as he could, Josh wiped the smile off his face. He knew that Adam’s “type” was not blondes or Hispanic girls. He always fell for girls that he thought had “character”.
“Can’t you just apologize?”
“I don’t think she was deeply offended. She probably just thought ‘What a dork!’ I tried talking to her a couple more times the next day, but every time I opened my mouth, I turned into a freshman trying to talk to the prom queen. I saw her with a camera and actually said, ‘So… You take pictures huh?’”
Josh covered his mouth in a quick attempt to force it from smiling. Once he felt it was safe he pulled his hand away and tried to comfort his best friend.
“I’m sorry man. That’s so weird. I’ve never seen you like that with a girl. I guess she is your kryptonite.
“No. It’s not her. I mean, it is. She is beautiful, but I can usually handle that.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s just like kryptonite. That emerald green is the most beautiful thing in the world. It was her eyes. Those green eyes turned me stupid. Now I know what Superman feels like. Get too close and you’re done.”
Josh leaned in and put his hand on Adam’s shoulder.
“Sorry man. The good news is that, just like Superman, no matter what happens, you still get to keep the tights.”
The sound of Adam’s head hitting the table was muffled by the laughter that finally escaped from Josh’s mouth.
Copyright © 2012 Adam Drake